Are you consciously dating or regular dating? There’s a big difference when you want to find your soulmate.
Unlike regular dating, consciously dating involves entering into relationships with a heightened awareness about your needs, clarity about your ideal partner, mindfulness, and a commitment to forging your path. This is dating with a purpose.
Regular dating consists of dating patterns and behaviors that are fueled by social conditioning, limiting beliefs, lack of clarity, and low-level vibrational frequencies such as desperation, fear of rejection, and low self-esteem.
The good news is that you have what it takes to change your dating experience and the quality of your relationships.
Below are practical tips you can use, starting today, to date with a purpose and enjoy thriving relationships.
Commit To A Journey Of Self-Discovery
Often, we think we know what we want, However, down the road, we discover we actually do not. By that time it is usually too late. A lot of the time, we just follow the rules. We just don’t take the time to question and challenge what we have been conditioned to believe as the truth.
The journey of self-discovery is one that allows you to find out what you want and don’t want. You’ll know what’s a deal-breaker and what isn’t in the various aspects of your life, including romantic relationships. More importantly, this journey helps you find your true self, free from societal pressures and expectations.
While this is a lifelong journey, a good starting point is to look to your past. Science tells us that past experiences can shape our personality, perceptions, values, and beliefs. Uncovering past trauma and making peace with past experiences is particularly helpful for your development journey. The result will be a new, better version of yourself who knows what they want from their relationships with others.
In addition to uncovering your past, it also helps to learn more about your personality. The best part is that tools are readily available to help you with this. Understanding your personality and the traits that come with it is incredibly essential when dating and selecting potential mates. While you may not want to limit your dating pool, you also want to align yourself with potential partners who are a good match based on yours and their personality.
The bottom line, when you know yourself, you will see what you want from others and therefore attract relationships that support your highest good.
Let Your Past Mistakes Be Your Guide
Is your hurtful past keeping you from finding and enjoying the love you deserve? Unresolved hurt can cause you to attract the same type of relationship over and over without even realizing it.
Consciously, you might want a certain kind of partner or relationship. But no matter what you do, you never seem to get what you want. That’s the kind of power unresolved past issues and limiting beliefs can have on your life.
Learning from your mistakes is not about dwelling on what happened or wishing things were different. It is about acknowledging and bringing to the forefront any negative feelings. These feelings could be holding you back from living your best life and attracting amazing relationships.
It is essential to realize that you do not have to forgive someone to move on from a negative experience you had with them. In some instances, forgiveness can help you heal and forge forward while other times, only moving on and taking one day at a time might be empowering.
Need A Life Coach?
If possible, consider working with a therapist or life coach to help you process past hurtful feelings. These feelings might sabotage your current and prospective relationships. Letting go of negative feelings about past relationships is a great way to achieve clarity on what you want from the relationships that you enter.
In addition to this, learning from mistakes and making peace with the past is a form of raising your vibrational frequency to attract the right quality partners whose values align with yours. This is simply the natural law of attraction in action, which states that like energy attracts like energy.
Letting go is easier said than done. However, you are the only one who can choose to break away from past patterns and start again. You are the only one who can motivate yourself to dump old habits that led you to less than ideal relationships and to pick up good habits that empower and better your life.
Visualize Your Ideal Partner
Do you know what you want in a partner? You’d be surprised that lots of people just get into relationships with any willing person without considering whether they are a good match.
Dating success begins with being clear about the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with. Unlike regular dating, conscious dating is about being deliberate with the type of people you invite into your life.
Visualization is one tool that can help you to attract your ideal partner.
It is important to note that your ideal partner doesn’t need to be a specific person. When using visualization and the law of attraction to call in “The One”, it is best not to be attached to a particular outcome. Instead, you want to be open to the infinite possibilities. Trust the universe to conspire to deliver just the right person for you.
Being attached to a particular outcome is that attachment is fueled by low-level vibrations. This includes fear, jealousy, and worry. Instead of narrowing your vision to include just a single person, broaden your perspective. Visualize the traits you want your future partner, whoever they might be, to have.
Visualization is such a powerful manifestation tool.
It necessitates clarity, which is a crucial requirement of the law of attraction. To manifest, you have to be clear about what you want. Otherwise, you’d be sending mixed messages to the universe, which will comply, as it always does, and send you mixed results.
Do you want your ideal partner to be humorous and adventurous?
Ambitious with a calm personality? Kind? Nurturing? Health-conscious?
Hold these traits in your mind’s eye, meditate on them, think about them often, and if you are so inclined, say a prayer or some words asking for alignment with your desired partner.
Trust In The Journey and Be Open To The Possibilities
Even if you desire a long-term relationship including marriage and kids, be open to the fact that some of your relationships might end up being short-term before you can find the right long-term partner.
Just because one or two relationships don’t yield a wedding doesn’t mean you should settle for less, give up on love, or think that you are not deserving of your ideal relationship. The mistake many of us make is rushing the pace of dating because we have this fixed set of ideas about how things should turn out.
It is OK to have standards and to know what you want in a partner, but you have to be open to experiencing the magic of the universe. The truth is, you don’t know how your partner will come to you or when they will show up. Your job is to focus on what you want. Know that the universe is always working to deliver your desire.
Trusting in the journey also makes for a fun dating experience. Knowing that your ideal partner will eventually come to you takes the pressure off you and the person you are seeing at any given time. Instead of worrying whether this person will be The One, you focus your energy on enjoying the time you have with them, allowing things to take their natural course, and seeing how it all goes.
Be Ready To Break The Old Rules And Make Your Own
Family and societal conditioning have a massive impact on our dating behavior and subsequent outcomes. There is plenty of research showing that we tend to make friends with, date, and even marry people who are like us whether that’s based on ethnicity, race, tribe, or social status. This tendency to associate with what’s familiar and to stay away from the ‘others’ is just one form of conditioning.
Society also presents the narrative of marriage and kids as the norm when it comes to relationships. There is nothing wrong with getting married and having children. This is a significant path for a lot of people. However, it is not the only way to enjoy love and reap the benefits of companionship.
Unfortunately, many of us follow along with societal conditioning. This is even when it sits at odds with what we want for ourselves. It is not uncommon for some people who do not want children to eventually succumb to the societal pressures and expectations that one should start bearing children or be married at a certain age. The truth is, there is no finish line or a specific age when you ‘should’ be married and start a family. It is your choice and no one else’s!
Do you want success in dating?
Be ready to break the rules and forge your own path. If you want a long-term monogamous relationship without marriage, do not be afraid to make this clear to all your potential partners. If you want a child-free committed relationship, let prospective partners know that this is important to you from the get-go. At the same time, if you are only looking for short-term relationships, don’t be shy to communicate this with your dates.
People who live truly happy lives and enjoy healthy relationships embrace and practice personal authenticity. They are true to themselves and do not do what others want or expect them to do. This is because they know what is important to them. They have a clear picture of how they want to live their life even if it doesn’t conform to societal expectations.
When it comes to love, don’t sell yourself short. You don’t need to fit the mold of friends, family, and society at large. Have a clear vision of the kind of relationships you want and the life you want to live. Then just do it without asking anyone for permission.
Breaking free from social conditioning is not easy. You risk being ostracized, losing some friends and family, and being misunderstood for a long time. Still, in the end, your happiness is what matters.
Honor Yourself and Ask For What You Need
A common perception is that it is selfish to ask for our needs to be met. This arises from our collective social conditioning. Women, in particular, are conditioned to believe that they should meet other people’s needs but not to expect theirs to be met. They are told there’s shame around speaking your truth. Asking for what you want means others might see you as ‘needy’ or “demanding”.
In the context of relationships, asking for what you need can open you up to a certain degree of vulnerability. There’s also the risk of being turned down. As such, many of us opt not to speak up and communicate our needs from the get-go. We’d rather be unhappy but coupled up than be alone. We’re afraid that if we shared our truth we’d be seen as imperfect and we wouldn’t find someone else.
Whether you are just getting into a relationship or are already in one, suppressing your needs, and failing to speak your truth honestly and authentically is the highest form of dishonoring yourself. Yet, if you do not honor yourself first, why would you expect your partner to accept you or even plan to find your soulmate?
Dating with a Purpose to Find Your Soulmate
To enjoy thriving relationships, whether these are long or short-term, choose today to communicate your needs and wants clearly whether these are sexual, emotional, or spiritual. Yes, there is a risk of rejection, but someone worthwhile will listen to you without judgment and strive to meet your needs and vice versa. Know that you are worthy of having your needs met.