Pause for a bit. Examine your outside life—the people in it, the day-to-day events, the circumstances.
Did you know that your physical reality is a reflection of your inner reality? The relationships you attract and the situations you find yourself in are all things you have attracted based on your inner feelings and thoughts. This is the basis of the law of mirroring, one of the twelve universal laws.
The good news is that if you do not like what you see on the outside, you can change it by addressing what is on the inside. If you want to change the kind of relationships you have been finding yourself in, you can do so by healing the parts of you that are attracting relationships that are not serving you.
What you dislike in others is what you deny in yourself.
According to the law of mirroring, our negative feelings toward another person originate from within ourselves. Our feelings have nothing to do with the other person but have everything to do with our own beliefs and perceptions of the other.
Reality is like a mirror that reflects itself back to you. When you look at a mirror, you see your reflection. In the same vein, when you look at your reality, you are looking at a reflection of yourself.
When you feel excitement and joy in the presence of another person, it is a sign that you are living in alignment. You are feeling good about yourself; therefore, you feel good about the other.
The opposite is true—when you feel anger toward another person, no matter what they might have ‘done to you’; the anger you feel has nothing to do with them. Instead, it is a reflection of something about yourself that angers you.
Inner State: Notice the patterns
Most of us go through life without paying attention to what is going on around and inside us. We do not pause and connect the dots, and to put the pieces together. So, we continue to make the same mistakes over and over, attract the same kind of people, relive similar pain.
If you stopped and took the time to examine your life, you will indeed notice a remarkable pattern in your relationships and the circumstances in your life.
Are you always finding yourself in relationships that start great only for them to become torturous and end nastily? Hard as it might be to accept, the truth is that you are attracting these kinds of relationships. This is because a part of you needs to learn a particular lesson and to heal from past wounds.
Unfortunately, according to the law of mirroring, you will keep attracting painful relationships until you become conscious enough to learn the lessons these relationships are teaching you about yourself; until you are ready to heal.
The opposite is true. If you find yourself feeling at peace and attracting harmonious people and circumstances, it is a sign that you are in alignment with all there is. This does not mean that what we might call ‘negative’ things will not happen—it means that when these things happen, you will have the awareness that you are the one who is responsible for attracting them into your life and you, therefore, can change what you are manifesting.
The goal of life is for consciousness to experience itself.
We create more and more of what we put out, whether we know it or not. If you find that people are always responding to you un-empathetically, it is because a part of you needs to learn empathy to express it. When you express empathy outwardly, or you overcome your limiting beliefs surrounding understanding, you will begin to attract empathic people when necessary.
You are the source of your happiness or unhappiness.
It is easy to think that people and outside circumstances are the cause of our happiness or lack of it. The hard truth is you are the source of everything and everyone in your life at any given time.
Everything, whether tangible or intangible, is a vibration. You are an energetic vibration, and that includes your thoughts and feelings. You attract people and circumstances that are a match with the frequency at which you are vibrating. In other words, you, the people, and the things in your life are a vibrational match.
It follows, therefore, when a person who irks you comes into your life, you have attracted that individual because of the frequency of your vibration. This person is reflecting precisely what exists inside you—irritation and anger. If you have the awareness and understanding of the law of mirroring/attraction, you will recognize the lessons brought by each circumstance or person who comes into your life, and you will work toward making the necessary shifts to achieve alignment.
The law of mirroring exists to reveal those parts of ourselves that need to heal. This law is a cue. It prompts you to shift your awareness and therefore, your outward experience. Or, show you that you are in alignment with the highest good and with your values.
You are responsible for how you experience life. This is a hard truth to accept, especially if you operate from a victimhood mentality. Still, it can also be an incredibly liberating truth—if you know that you are attracting everything in your life, then you know that you can instigate change in your life as well.
Your relationship with your significant other (s) is one of your biggest ‘mirrors’.
Every relationship offers you an opportunity to examine yourself and to identify whether or not you are in alignment. However, your relationship with your significant other is arguably your most prominent teacher—the struggles and cordial interactions all give you a window into your inner, subconscious state, and even the wounds that need healing.
What are your beliefs about relationships? What you think about men, women, and relationships will be mirrored back to you in the kind of relationships you find yourself in. We acquire these beliefs from childhood from the way we see our parents or caregivers interact with each other. How you saw your father treating your mother, for example, can shape your beliefs about ‘how men are’ whether or not these beliefs are accurate. The same goes for your perception and beliefs about women—how you saw your mother or other female figures in your life interact with men may also influence your beliefs about women.
Our experiences in adulthood are mainly a reflection of the long-held beliefs from our childhood. For example, if as a woman, one of your (limiting) beliefs is that men always cheat, you will find yourself attracting the kind of men who cheat. The objective truth is that some individuals cheat on their partners while some simply don’t.
The good news is that you have the power to stop the cycle of attracting cheaters. You can begin enjoying relationships built on loyalty and respect.
The first step to putting a halt to negative relationship patterns is to examine the source of your limiting beliefs. Why did you come to believe that ‘men always cheat?’ Examine how you would feel when somebody cheats on you? Of course, it makes you feel awful. But what kind of emotions, feelings, and perceptions about yourself come up when someone you love cheats on you? Do you feel disrespected or maybe worthless?
Now, look back at your childhood. Was there an incident where a male figure made you feel like you are worthless or undeserving of respect? Of course, you are worthy, and you deserve to be treated with respect. But, if you do not address inner feelings of worthlessness, you will continue to attract people and circumstances that make you feel this way until you choose to shift your perception of yourself intentionally.
Interestingly, when inner feelings of worthlessness go unaddressed, it is not just cheating partners you will attract. You might also find yourself attracting bosses that mistreat you, colleagues who take a stab at your self-esteem, or friends who disrespect you.
This is a lesson: you are not being punished
An essential goal of life is evolution into higher states of being. At any given time, you are being called to evolve into a more aware human being. When something extremely hurtful such as being cheated on happens, it is easy to feel like you are being punished or that there is something you could have done to prevent your partner from being unfaithful.
Here is the thing: You are not being punished. Secondly, you cannot stop anyone from cheating—that is a choice only they can make. The only person you are in control of is YOU. When you attract a negative situation, know that the Universe is revealing something to you that needs to be addressed in your journey of evolution. Sometimes, as they say, you have to learn the hard way.
Isn’t this a powerful realization? Once you realize that you are always attracting people and circumstances into your life that are pointing you toward an issue that you need to resolve, then you’ll be more aware of everything that is happening to you. You’ll learn much faster the lessons that are being revealed to you so you will not keep repeating the same pattern over and over.
What should you do about a negative relationship experience?
First, we have already established that you attracted this experience to yourself, including the people and the turn of events. This doesn’t mean that you are bad and deserve punishment.
What you do about a negative relationship experience, such as being cheated on depends only on YOU. You are in charge of creating your reality. As we’ve seen, your feelings of worthlessness or of being undeserving of respect do not have anything to do with the cheating partner—the cause of it all is your limiting beliefs. This means that to change your reality, you must address your limiting beliefs—you are entirely in the driver’s seat.
Releasing limiting beliefs/inner blocks
Every belief you hold on to, to justify something that does not serve your highest good is a limiting one. The first step to addressing your limiting beliefs is acknowledging that these beliefs about yourself and others are untrue.
Replace your limiting belief with a different/true belief. For example, in place of ‘all men cheat’ affirm the following:
‘Now that I have experienced an unhealthy relationship, I have learned what to look for in a great partner.’
Do the inner work of healing. Acknowledging your inner blocks allows you to take a look at those parts of yourself that need healing. For example, release the false perception that you are worthless or undeserving of respect. Replace it with the truth so that you can go ahead and attract a different reality that is in alignment with the truth you know about yourself.
Then, take different actions. Now that you know what to look for in a loving partner and you know the truth about yourself act like it. You know you are worthy and deserving of respect. As such, you cannot engage in behavior that contradicts your worthiness and your newfound knowledge about the kind of partner you deserve.
Control Your Inner State
You can change the pictures that make up your reality. You just have to be ready to acknowledge and most importantly, to release your limiting beliefs. Your inner blocks are lurking around in areas of your life where you are producing results you do not want. If you keep attracting certain people into your life or being in relationships you find unfulfilling; there are limiting beliefs that need to be released for you to experience a different, better reality. Control your inner state to control your reality.