We’re in the energy of another full moon and as usual, sleep is disrupted and feelings of confusion resurface.
If you had a traumatic childhood or experienced emotional or verbal abuse, then memories from the past and your parents voices will probably show up in these days too.
Full moons are great for releasing old energy and patterns. So if you feel called to change an old habit or pattern, now is the time.
You might also feel depleted and low on energy – try to take things easy, meditate and self-reflect.
I personally have been experiencing all sorts of strange and bad incidents throughout this Mercury Retrograde. I’ve also been having really vivid dreams. Many of those have people from the past and even family members. It has been a crazy ride.
All I know is that releasing the past and its energy in this Retrograde phase creates space for new things to come into my life. So in the end it’s all good.
Malta Trip Reflections and Mixed Emotions
I shared a couple of blog posts about my Malta trip. One of my favorites is titled: Where to eat and drink in Malta Part Two.
Because my Malta trip fell at the time of another Mercury Retrograde and full moon, it was intense.
I thought of sharing my thoughts and feelings to help you see the whole picture. And to make you think twice before believing anything you see on Instagram – the most pretentious social media platform out there.
People only share the highlights of their lives and when things are going great for them. They rarely share their struggles or the challenges they faced – especially when creating travel content.
Because I’m all about authenticity and embracing the shadow side of everything, I wanted to share the full reality of my Malta trip.
While I fell in love with the island and specifically with the capital city Valletta, I was constantly being faced with the shadow side of being single while there.
I’ve travelled solo to countless places and I never experienced anything like I have in my Malta trip.
What the Universe Wants
My conclusion is that the Universe really wanted me to face my shadow side and to accept it, instead of pretending to be happy with my single life. The reason is that you can only shift a situation once you fully accept it and make peace with it.
So in order for me to manifest a partner and a healthy relationship, I have to make peace with being single and feel the negative side of it too. Not sweep it under the rug as they say.
I wrote about what happened in my Malta trip in previous blog posts and you can read them.
Simple things like being told that I can’t take the boat to the three cities (the city’s main tourist attraction) alone and after asking several boat owners, I manifested someone who agreed to take me. I of course paid the fee for two people, not one.
You can read that story in this blog post, although it’s written from a different angle. I now share with you how it really felt to take that boat tour alone and I can tell you that it wasn’t good.
The Universe wants me to really feel the dark side of being single and is telling me that it’s OK to be sad and to feel fed up with single life. The Universe was also making me realize and see that no, you actually can’t do everything alone.
You are not a Victim
Having to convince boat owners to take me on the must-do Valletta attraction didn’t feel aligned or good. It felt sad and pathetic.
Feeling your emotions doesn’t mean that you’re in a victim mindset. It means that you’re embracing the entirety of your life experience and not dismissing any parts. It also means not judging yourself for feeling any negative emotion.
I’m so grateful for doing a good amount of shadow work at the Osho center in Italy. That’s where I learned to feel my feelings for the first time.
My Malta trip wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t what I expected it to be. All I wanted was to get out of busy Dubai and to take a break from city life.
Although Valletta is an even busier city than Dubai (google the size of the town to understand what I mean), what I manifested in that trip was far greater than what I imagined. It was more rewarding than any previous trip that I’ve made.
Because I was forced to embrace my shadows, to feel my feelings and to connect with others.
For the first time, I felt like I wasn’t alone with my emotional baggage and negative past. That others had also been through a lot and that we can support each other by listening and being there.
What’s even more interesting is that apart from a getaway, the intention of my Malta trip was to explore if it’s somewhere that I would consider moving to.
I even contacted an immigration lawyer while I was still in Dubai. He never reached out to me as agreed. And it was a sign.
Trust in the Process
When things don’t unfold in the way that you want, trust that it’s for a bigger and better reason.
Instead of finding a new part-time home for my nomadic self, I manifested a powerful healing journey and step to feeling more connected with myself, my emotions and the rest of the world.
On my last morning, I had tears in my eyes as I walked down the streets of magical Valletta. And tears are running down my face as I type these words. If you know me personally, you know this is a big thing. I was raised in a home where emotions were unheard of.
It was intense. I felt a strong shift and up-leveling in my soul. It was unmatched. It was rewarding.
Leaving you with some random shots from my Malta trip. I included those that weren’t in previous blog posts. I have more pictures but I think I shared the main ones.
Until my next trip, which will hopefully be sometime in early June, let me know where you plan to visit or move to?
I’m still on the lookout for a part-time home on an island. Because my soul essence loves island life and isn’t aligned with city life.
What about you? Do you like living in a big city? Have you ever considered moving? Do you have places to explore?
Let me know in the comments and be gentle in this full moon week.