How do you act as if you are in a loving relationship when what you are currently experiencing is loneliness?
How do you feel loved when you are single and not getting anywhere with your dating game?
Acting “as if” you are in a relationship is one of the most difficult and most misunderstood principles of the law of attraction. Yet, when you understand what it is all about, you’ll be in a better position to use the law of attraction to change your life.
Whether you want to manifest your dream car, home, job, body, or partner, there is no getting around this principle. To manifest something to physical reality, you first have to shift your energy or vibrational frequency.
Manifesting Love: What Does It Mean to Act As If?
Do you need to play pretend to manifest your dream life? That sounds like a stretch. Shouldn’t you be authentic and live in the truth?
The concept of acting as if can be a difficult one to understand. This is because most of us operate solely as five-sensory beings. We only know and believe in things that we can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste.
These basic five senses are, of course, crucial for our survival in the physical realm of the universe. However, manifesting is also about acknowledging the spiritual, non-visible workings of the universe. The law of attraction works, whether or not we acknowledge it.
Pretense or denial is not what acting as if is all about. As we know, no amount of pretending you are in a relationship will finally bring your ideal partner to you. Acting like you are in love is about shifting your vibrational frequency and being fully open to the endless possibilities of the universe.
So, what does it mean to shift your energy?
Everything, including your thoughts and feelings, is energy. According to the universal laws, like energies attract each other. In simple terms, the thoughts and feelings you put out will attract a physical reality that matches these thoughts and feelings.
Think about a time when you obsessively worried about something. The more you kept worrying, the more things looked bleak, and there was probably physical evidence to support your worry. This is the law of attraction in action! It goes without saying that to change your reality, you first have to work on your thoughts and feelings. The physical reality you want to manifest must align with your thoughts and feelings.
Of course, shifting your energy and acting as if is easier said than done. But here is the thing: to manifest your dream partner, you have to be willing to accept that it is possible to be in a loving relationship despite your current circumstances. So, this is a lot about having faith, trusting the universe, and being open to possibilities.
Importantly, you must be willing to look beyond your current reality and understand that your current experience does not affect your future reality. What you are experiencing now is a manifestation of past thoughts and feelings. This means you can create a different experience by changing your thoughts and feelings to align with what you want to experience going forward.
You have to cultivate the habit of approaching your current reality constructively. After all, you are the one who is creating this reality at all times. If you are experiencing loneliness and difficulty attracting your ideal partner, the hard truth is that you created this reality. This in no way means you are a terrible person. It just means that you have the power to create a different version of reality.
Manifesting Love: You Are Enough Right Now
All this talk about shifting your energy, raising your vibration, and working on your thoughts and feelings might make it look like you are inadequate, and you aren’t doing enough to attract your dream partner. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Nothing is wrong with you just because you are single or are not in your ideal relationship. When you think that you are not enough, you end up trying to manifest from a place of lack. The problem with this is that you become obsessive about attracting your dream partner. Obsessiveness yields resistance especially when you do not see immediate results.
Resistance means just that—inhibiting your dreams from coming to you. The more resistance you put out there, the further away you push your dream of being in a loving relationship with your ideal partner.
When you try manifesting from a place of lack, you might attract someone, but as you can imagine, this might not be the best person for you. The relationship might start great as most relationships do. But the relationship will eventually sour because of your neediness, jealousy, or lack of trust. This may happen because the foundation of the relationship was based on you wanting someone to make you feel better, complete you, or solve a particular inadequacy of yours.
Because you were manifesting from the point of not being enough and needing to be fixed, you also tend to attract people who feel this way too. Of course, this is a recipe for disaster—the chances are good that the relationship will disintegrate into dysfunction, pain, and hurt.
As you can see, to attract a healthy relationship with your ideal partner, you must shift your energy. You must move away from feelings of inadequacy, lack, and of not being enough. Instead, reach a place of knowing that you are fundamentally enough, and perfect just as you are. This is not about overlooking your flaws—it is about accepting them without allowing them to define your true essence.
Instead of trying to manifest from a place of ‘I need a partner to make me happy/complete/whole etc.’ Shift gears and start looking at it in this way ‘I am enough and complete. Having a loving partner by my side only enhances my experience of enoughness and completeness.’
Even though it might not seem so, you already have everything that you need. A part of you—let’s call it your Higher Self already has all the love that you need. You just have to tap into it to experience the love.
Emotions Are Everything
Emotions are at the heart of the whole law of attraction concept. Look at it this way: Feelings or emotions are our way of communicating with the universe. Whatever you feel, the experience must follow. It is always like this.
To manifest your ideal partner, you must first get yourself to a place of feeling how you will feel when the love of your life is with you. You need to start feeling that feeling now—you can’t wait until you have manifested your ideal partner for you to feel it. This is the crux of acting as if. Acting as if is about fully getting deep into how you want to feel when your desire becomes physical reality.
So first, identify how you want to feel. Go back in time and recall a time when you felt loved, excited, optimistic, adventurous, sexy, beautiful, purposeful, and aligned. Focus on these feelings every day as you continue to expect your dream partner to come to your life. The deeper you get into feeling your desired emotion now, the closer your desire comes to you.
You might be wondering ‘how do I feel loved or adventurous or sexy’ when nothing in my current reality supports these feelings? Well, the answer is to try not to focus on a specific thing as the sole source of what you want to experience. Try not to focus on having a partner as the only source of feeling loved or adventurous. The point is, you can feel loved or adventurous outside of a relationship.
There are many other ways to experience the emotions you desire to feel. For example, to feel loved, try spending time with people who love you, including friends and family. If you can, give yourself a treat that makes you feel good— this could be a spa, nice dinner, road trip, vacation, any experience that brings the feeling of being loved. If you long for a sense of adventure with your future partner, engage in activities that will generate that feeling of adventure right now.
As you can see, happiness and all the beautiful feelings that come with being in a loving relationship do not need to be a means to an end. Make happiness an end in itself.
Align Your Feelings with Your Actions
It is hard to act as if you are already in your dream relationship when you do not feel good about yourself, or you have limiting beliefs about relationships. In the same way, you can’t feel positive and engage in negative actions.
For example, people who are successful at attracting their ideal partner rarely think ‘I am not good enough’ or ‘I will never find someone who loves me the way I am.’ You can’t claim to want to manifest a certain kind of person when you do not even feel deserving enough to have such a person in your life. If you think that you are undeserving of true love, then true love cannot be your reality, and you will keep envying other people who are enjoying the kind of relationship that you only dream of.
Overcoming limiting beliefs isn’t easy, but it is entirely possible. It is the first step toward creating harmony between your actions and your feelings. If your thoughts and actions are inconsistent, the experience must follow. You will keep attracting inconsistent results. This is because this is the message you are sending out to the universe. The universe is responding to you at all times.
What are your limiting beliefs about relationships? You must be willing to replace these beliefs with positive ones first before manifesting your dream relationship. For example, perhaps you believe ‘All men are immature’. If this has been your predominant thought, you have likely attracted numerous situations in which men have acted immaturely with you. Now, it is time to change that thought if you want to experience a different reality. In place of ‘Men are immature’, affirm ‘Now that I have been involved with an immature man, I know what to look for in an ideal partner.’ Do you see how this keeps you open to the best possibilities out there for you?
Set aside time to identify your limiting beliefs about relationships. Then, replace these with positive affirmations that raise your vibration and help you attract better experiences, including a fantastic partner. You might not feel great about relationships all the time, but this can become your dominant feeling. The better you feel about relationships, the better you become at acting as if what you want is already here.
Gratitude Will Fast-Track the Process
How can you be grateful for something you don’t yet have? This is another concept many of us grapple with when it comes to the law of attraction. Recall what we mentioned earlier—you first have to experience the feeling for the experience to follow. Do you need to have a partner to be grateful for everything you already have in your life that brings you so much pleasure and happiness? Of course not!
Look around you. Even if you are single and longing to be in a loving relationship, there are so many other things in your life to be grateful for. These could be a job and colleagues whom you love, amazing friends and family, a lovely home, and fantastic health. Not everyone has these things. Be grateful for every seemingly little thing you have in your life right now that brings you joy. By the law of attraction, as you vibrate on the gratitude frequency, you will attract more experiences to be grateful for, including the partner you are longing for.
As five-sensory beings, acting as if we already have what we want can be challenging. However, you don’t need to fake it till you make it, bend over backwards, pretend, and deny the fact that you do not currently have your ideal partner. You just need to look beyond your current circumstances. Get yourself to a place of feeling what you want to feel when the love of your life finally arrives. Manifesting love is going to happen for you very soon.