Have you found your tribe yet?
Find Your Tribe Starting Today
Our need for connection with like-minded people is as old as time. There is a reason why many of us resonate with mantras such as “family first” “best friends forever (BFF)”, and why we cannot get enough of those “me and the gang” pictures on Instagram.
Being part of a community that ‘gets you’ at a deep, visceral level is one of the most reassuring experiences. More so in a world that is so uncertain and often individualistic.
This is the community you go to when you just want to blow off some steam and hang out. They are the ones who will vouch for you when you are in the craze of launching a business.
Members of your tribe are the ones with whom you can be vulnerable when everything in your life seems to be falling apart. They are the ones you can bounce ideas off.
However, it is not just about the things that these people do for you. It is also about you being there for them, accepting them just as they are, and cheering them on. It’s about being a vital part of their support system.
Finding this kind of connection, one that is not only based on mere interests but also on an authentic concern for each other is not always easy, but it is entirely possible. However, finding your tribe will require you to put in the work. It involves knowing yourself, setting intentions, and nurturing your relationships.
Are you tired of feeling out of place in your current social circles? Are you looking to build a social circle in the first place? Do you want to build lasting, authentic, and meaningful connections with others who share similar interests?
This article will show you practical ways to find the people who truly “get” you.
Why Can’t I Find My Tribe?
Unless you are an experienced social butterfly, making new friends is a real challenge for many adults. It is not that we are any shier than we were as kids when bonding was easy. It’s just that adulthood comes with a lot of layers and baggage consisting of preconceived ideas and judgments.
As adults, we tend to have rigid beliefs, especially about others who are not already in our circle of friends and family. Interestingly, this rigidity keeps us from reaching out to others. This is even when we do not feel comfortable, understood, and supported in our current circle.
Examples of Limiting Beliefs
Here are examples of limiting beliefs that often hold us back from finally finding our tribes:
I am too different: It is true that we are all unique in our own way. However, when we put down our masks and defenses, we find that we do share some similarities with others. When we knowingly (or unknowingly) create a narrative that we are too different or too special, then we close ourselves to the possibility of connecting with others. Now is a good time to realize that at a deeper, cosmic level, we are all “one”. This is the reason you are actually longing to belong to a community of like-minded people in the first place.
Only people who are like me will get me: Seeking out people who are just like you is a big blind spot. It prevents you from forming meaningful connections with others of a different race, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, religion, or political inclination. As you seek to build your community, keep your mind and heart open to the people you come across. While you do not have to let everyone into your circle, do not let prejudice keep you from experiencing the full depth and breadth of others who are not exactly like you.
People always leave: Holding on to a narrative of past abandonment can scare you from stepping out, showing up, and seeking out people with whom you share a real connection. After all, you don’t want to reel in the pain of being abandoned over and over again when the time comes for some members of your circle to move on. To build your tribe, you must come to terms with impermanent nature of life and everything in it. Since forever, tribes have always been fluid; members come and go, the tribe grows and shrinks but the connection, the heart of the tribe remains.
Take some time to self-reflect and be honest with yourself about any limiting beliefs. Your beliefs may be keeping you from attracting your tribe.
How to Find Your Tribe
Know Thy Self
Whether you are looking for a tribe based on shared passion, interests, or purpose, the first step is to understand who you are as an individual.
When you become part of a community, whether online or offline, with whom you share a deep connection, it can be easy to lose your own identity if you are not adequately rooted in who you are as a person.
Losing your identity can be one of the most disillusioning experiences and ironically, you will find yourself disconnected from the tribe that you so earnestly sought to belong to.
So, if you are at a place where you feel like your current circle is not fulfilling you or you simply want to grow this circle, consider taking a little time to get in touch with yourself and become clear about what you want.
Self-reflection helps you identify your limiting beliefs. It also helps practice self-compassion, self-love, and to be grounded. You’ll then attract the kind of people you really want in your corner.
Get Intentional About Your Needs
So, ask yourself, what characteristics are you looking for in the friends you want to attract? Are you looking for people who share similar work or business interests? Maybe you need a tribe that is into the same hobbies as you. Are you looking for people who are spiritually inclined? Maybe a group that can offer you much-needed emotional support?
Manifesting requires feeling. So, ask yourself what you want to feel as far as your tribe is concerned. Do you want to feel a spiritual connection? How about feeling supported and understood? Do you just want to feel a spirit of camaraderie?
While people who have the same hobbies as you can make for an interesting tribe, they might not be the right choice if what you are really after is emotional support or perhaps business mentorship.
If you have diverse needs, and most people do, you do not have to limit yourself to just one tribe. Say, for example, you are recently separated and are looking to immerse yourself into physical fitness; you could work toward finding a community of divorcees from where you can draw emotional support. At the same time, you could work toward connecting with people in the physical fitness niche who can inspire, support, and motivate you to achieve your fitness goals.
As you become more intentional about your needs, you’ll instinctively align yourself with the people you really want in your life.
Ask the Universe
A great way to find your tribe is to ask the Universe to help you discern and attract them. The truth is, finding a community that completely understands, supports, and cares for you is as much your job as it is the Universe’s. You can only do so much. You then have to let go and allow the right experiences to come to you.
It is through these experiences, which some people might call “aha-moments” or coincidences. This is when we slowly begin to meet members of our tribe.
You might be nudged to attend a certain retreat where you meet just the group of people that you have been waiting for all your life. Or, you might stumble across an online group that you feel an instant vibe with.
Even as you do the work on your end, stay open to the miracles the Universe is sending your way as far as authentic connections are concerned.
Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone
It goes without saying that if you want to find your people, you have to do the ‘legwork.’ Even as you incorporate manifestation techniques to attract your tribe, you must do your part to find your ideal community of like-minded people.
Here are some ideas:
Search online for people or groups with shared interests: Today, it is easier than ever to connect with like-minded people locally and globally with just a click of the button. Whatever your interests are, tools such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Reddit, Twitter, and blog forums can help you reach out to and connect with people with similar professional or non-professional interests.
Join a mastermind group: A mastermind group can be a powerful source of support especially if you are pursuing personal development, financial mastery, or hustling in your business. These endeavors are often lonely and challenging. It is common to feel like those in your current circle do not understand or support your vision. Joining a mastermind might be just what you need to keep you accountable and focused on your personal and professional goals.
Start your own event: Whatever your interests might be, rest assured there are others out there who have these same interests and would be happy to connect. Again, online tools such as Meetup.com, Citysocializer, Eventbrite, and others let you create your own event, offering you an exciting opportunity to meet new people with whom you could build meaningful and lasting connections.
Seek out other people’s events: If you are not ready to set up your own event, why not attend events that others have organized. The advantage of exploring events is that you will find an already existing tribe. All you have to do is see whether the people you meet give you the feeling you are looking for as far as friendship is concerned.
Say ‘yes’ more often: This is especially true for the social introverts who want to connect with like-minded people but just cannot bring themselves to go out and actually meet people. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. You just have to make a deliberate effort to go to the places where your people might be. Has a friend invited you to a meet-up? Say yes. A colleague is urging you to go join them for a weekend retreat? Say yes. Invited to a conference? Say yes.
Follow Up, Make It Happen, Find Your Tribe
“We should get together.” You have probably heard that one before. Perhaps you have said it to someone but you never really took the initiative to make it happen. This is one of the biggest modern-day hurdles to forming lasting friendships and partnerships.
The best way to actually build a circle of friends is to keep the conversation going beyond your initial meeting. This applies whether online or offline. Just like a garden, if you do not water and tend to your newfound friendship, any mutual connection will die off eventually.
Make a commitment to reach out to new people you meet and with whom you feel connected. Go out on that coffee date. Plan an activity and show up. Get on the phone or write them an email. If they are meant to be in your circle, your interaction will unfold naturally and seamlessly. It will feel like home.
You might attend a meet-up and not “click’’ with anyone the first time. You might show up at that much-hyped retreat and come out with a less-than-stellar connection with any of the attendees.
Be open to the fact that some of your efforts at intention-setting, reaching out, and stepping outside your comfort zone might not pay off instantly. Lasting friendships, whether virtual or in real-life, take some time to build.
Keep up with the efforts. Do not stop reaching out. Make the first move. Show up and participate, and slowly but surely you will find your people, your gang, your tribe.