I decided to write about this topic after asking my Instagram community to vote for a topic. Follow me on Instagram if you still don’t.
I know how you feel about being in love and how much fear surrounds you when you just think about it, because I was there too.
Being a late-bloomer and living with my parents (for the most part) until I was 29 means that I had my life experiences at a later stage than most people.
If you also lived with your parents until your late twenties or early thirties, then you understand what I mean.
Why you have Failed Love Experiences
Let me start by sharing my personal experience. I believe that the main reason for my bad dating and relationship experiences was my childhood wounds and family dynamic.
When you’re not seen, validated or loved by your caretakers, you naturally attract toxic relationships or bad dating experiences.
That’s what happened to me. Basically our relationships with others are simply a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.
And if that relationship is not healthy and positive – because of our childhood experiences – then this will set the tone for every other relationship we have as adults.
How you can Shift your Perspective
The only way to make peace with past failed experiences is to see them for what they are: learning lessons and growth opportunities.
When you see your failed dating and relationship experiences as learning opportunities and lessons to get you closer to your ideal relationship, it can be easy to move forward.
I honestly feel grateful that I had these experiences because it means that I lived a fulfilling life. Some women from my country and other conservative cultures don’t get to experience being in love. So for me to have the blessing to be loved and to fall in love is a true privilege and gift.
Just look at all these experiences as lessons that your soul had to learn in order to create the perfect healthy relationship.
You’re a courageous and brave person for opening your heart for love and being loved. Look at how much you’ve grown through these experiences.
Another positive thing that comes out from heartbreaks is that you experience how it feels to love and be loved. So that when you manifest the right person into your reality, you will know how to love them and receive their unconditional love.
How you can Move Forward with Confidence
The only way that you can feel confident to be vulnerable and open your heart for love again is by doing two things:
- Learning and understanding the dating rules and the science behind dating.
- Having a dating coach or learning partner who will hold you accountable and guide you.
In this blog post on the Soul Collective blog, I talk about how I discovered the dating rules after entangling my energy and experiencing a number of heartbreaks.
There’s a science and certain rules for dating. And when you follow these rules and pace things when you meet someone new, you won’t end up adding another failed relationship or heartbreak to your list.
I honestly was really surprised when I learned about these rules. Knowing them would have saved me so much energy, time and bad dating experiences.
When you have a dating buddy or a learning partner who holds you accountable and guides you in your dating journey, then you won’t feel like you have to navigate the ups and downs of dating life alone.
I know this because I personally have a dating buddy who I confide in and take advice from.
Do You Need More Help?
I would love to support you in your dating journey. You really can manifest a healthy, loving relationship that you’re worthy of.
The first step to attracting a new caliber of men is to love yourself. You need to respect yourself the way you want a man to respect you.
You also want to avoid entangling your energy with toxic men and I talk about this topic in detail in this blog post.
Working with a life coach to release your limiting beliefs and help you discover and shift old dating patterns is another good way to help you step into your power and navigate the dating world with confidence and grace.
Take things slow and pacing the dating experience. Staying true to your standards and what type of man you know you’re worthy of is the way to go.
What do you think is holding you back from opening your heart to love again? Are you clear about what type of man and relationship you want to manifest? Let me know in the comments!