Thursday Thoughts: What you Resist could be your Core Gifts

This morning, I went to a Starbucks that I haven’t been to but am familiar with its location.

I used to go to the community mall where that Starbucks is located after coaching sessions with a coach before I got certified.

This was back in 2018 and I took the NLP Life Coach training and got certified in May of 2018.

Since then, I never thought of taking my laptop and working from that Starbucks because it’s not really in my area.

This morning, I thought of going there to work. Then, I’d get groceries from the store in the same community mall.

I did exactly what I wrote about yesterday and I didn’t think that I would be in for a wonderful surprise!

That Starbucks store was so noisy and crowded. They had social distancing in place but it wasn’t really helpful as it’s a small branch. And while I got there at 8:30 am (which is early for me), it was already packed. The Baristas told me that this is actually not busy and that it gets busier when the schools start again at the end of the month.

What was more annoying is the fact that it’s a store where there are mostly families because of the neighborhood that it’s in.

So there was noise from kids and toddlers. And that was exactly what I was escaping from my place!

I now have new neighbors that have a ten-month old baby girl and I hear noise in my apartment all day!

The noise starts at around 7:30 am and lasts until 8:00 or 9:00. Sometimes until 10:00 pm.

Of course there are days when they celebrate birthdays but that’s another story that I won’t get into.

So I was escaping the noise from my apartment this morning. However, I was confronted with a similar type of noise at Starbucks.

I stayed until 9:50 am and then I took a cab to another community mall on the same street which is more quieter and that’s not frequented by parents and their kids.

It took me 90 minutes to feel settled after the chaotic energy at the other community mall. And I still don’t feel 100% grounded.

If you want to understand why this happened, check out yesterday’s blog post here.

What are Core Gifts?

Your core gifts are the core traits that make you unique and that shape your personality.

These are specific qualities and personality traits that make you unique.

I was attending an inner child group therapy workshop in the winter of 2019. I shared in one of the sessions how I don’t like my masculine and alpha woman side.

This was something that I always struggled with and it’s a trait that I resist in my personality.

For example, I tend to dress like a tomboy and although I occasionally wear feminine tops or dresses, it’s not really who I am in essence.

I feel like my life experiences and childhood shaped me as an independent and alpha woman.

In that sharing session, I was explaining this and how it related to the fact that my mother wanted a boy when I was born.

That’s when a participant in the group said something interesting.

He said that maybe these qualities are what make me unique and that I can embrace them.

I didn’t really agree with his thoughts back then. I was constantly resisting this side of my personality in an effort to act and behave like a more feminine woman. Yet, I now see his perspective and get it.

What he meant was that this specific personality trait – being masculine and independent – can be my core gift and something that actually attracts others to me.

I now believe that his perspective is accurate and makes sense. This is because I tried to change this trait and I couldn’t!

I tried to act like a feminine woman and lean into that side of my personality. But, I can’t possibly live from that energy 24/7. It’s simply not possible!

I know that I can lean into my feminine side when I want to and that I can do that. But to completely transform my entire personality from that independent and alpha woman to a feminine one is not possible!

I now feel that it’s time for me to make peace with this personality trait and embrace it. I also now see it as a gift and something to accept and be proud of even.

This Sunday, I plan to shop for some feminine tops to wear when I go out for breakfast on weekends and for an upcoming European visa appointment.

But guess what I’ll be pairing these feminine tops with? I’ll be matching them with my new pairs of jeans that I just ordered online. I also bought a new pair of jeans yesterday as I haven’t shopped for one in ages.

So I can now feel like my personal style – a combo of bohemian and sort of feminine vibes and a tomboy/eclectic look – is actually something to be cherished and embraced.

This was my Thursday Thought for today and I want to know: What personality trait are you resisting about yourself?

I’m going to sign off for today and I’ll be back with a new Future-self Friday blog post tomorrow!

core gifts

Your core gifts

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