I wrote a blog post about how I gained 8 kilos since I last checked my weight in 2018. You can read it here.
Although there were many downsides to this pandemic season for everyone, I personally feel like I learned a lot of golden lessons and silver linings.
Let me start by sharing some of the downsides that happened to me personally. Apart from gaining so much weight by staying at home a lot and working on my cooking skills, I also started doing all the house chores completely on my own. And I mean every single thing.
Before the pandemic, I used to hire a cleaning lady once a month to clean my place. I used to give all of my bed linen and some clothes to the laundry place. I never washed or ironed my bed sheets, duvet cover or pillow cases.
All of this changed – when the pandemic started – and I’m happy it did.
Because although it seems like my life has been downgraded, I also protect the energy of my home and belongings. No outsider comes into my apartment to clean, which means no foreign entities or negative energy.
Getting used to doing all the house chores on my own took time, but I managed to do it in the end.
I’m now really good at dividing the house chores over the days of the week. I must add that I also have a balcony that gets dirty pretty fast and I clean that too. But not regularly since it’s a real hassle to clean it.
Despite gaining so much weight and having a sales woman at a hardware store assume that I was pregnant, I’m grateful.
What am I grateful for? The golden lessons and space that this lockdown life created.
How to be Happy on your Own
I must admit that I’m not 100% there but I can say that I’ve come a long way from where I was.
What this pandemic did is force me to be happy on my own and stop looking outside for validation or love.
Because all of the distractions were removed. No travel, no friends, no anything really, I was forced to live with myself.
This lockdown life helped me learn to accept my life and single status. It’s like I had no other choice but to accept it!
I couldn’t travel or run away from my emotions. So I had to confront them and go through them.
I would say that I spent the first eighteen months of the pandemic processing inner child therapy work.
Feeling disconnected, unhappy, frustrated, isolated and miserable was normal.
I didn’t want to speak to anyone or see anyone. I just wanted to be left alone. And that’s what I did.
Embrace the Process
Then gradually, the process was being integrated and I felt like I can connect with others and start to live a normal life. Normal as in today’s new normal.
I realized that I can be happy on my own and that it actually feels good!
I let go of the thought that I need to manifest my person at a certain time. There were no matches to consider. Everything came to a halt and it was all that I needed to accept and realize myself.
I spent most of my lockdown life reading travel articles, making plans, writing down future trips and then changing the dates – like a million times.
And finally, after a year and seven months since my last trip, I get to travel again next month!
My last trip was a two-month stay in Bali. It was in January and February of 2020. I got back to Dubai on March 2 or 3, 2020.
And since then, I’ve been locked up in my one-bedroom apartment. Just me, myself and I.
I didn’t do a single staycation. I didn’t sleep over at a friend’s house, I was sleeping in my bed every single night and I had to face every little thing that was making me run away from myself in the past.
A year and seven months is a good time to find and accept myself I think 🙂
I might start a series of these blog posts and share all of the golden lessons that this season taught me. What are your thoughts?
The first one is that the cliche that you have to be happy on your own before you get into a relationship is true.
It’s actually very real and valid. You have to accept and love yourself and your life first. Because you can’t be happy with anyone if you can’t feel good in your own skin first.
Let me know what your thoughts are. I’m open to hearing your suggestions for future Thursday Thoughts blog post topics!