I want to share with you a raw post today about the shadow side of life. I know that my focus tends to generally be on gratitude, positivity and always looking at the learning from each bad situation.
Today, I want to share with you two sides of a story. My story. To show you that I’m a real person with my own struggles, dilemmas and low times.
First, I’ll start with a positive story from last October. Because that way, you can see that behind each positive story, there’s a dark side or a shadow side.
While staying at a lovely, family-owned hotel in Valletta, the owner’s 21-year-old daughter told me once: “You’re very confident with who you are, you wear your personality on your sleeve.”
To me, that was the best compliment that I’ve received in my entire life. Mainly because as a survivor of NPD abuse from a mother, I had to do so much work to find my true self. And I only recently connected with who I am at my core. At 41 and a half years of age.
Although that moment was a highlight from my Malta trip, that particular trip was like a purge. The Universe kept pushing me to embrace the shadow and ugly side of being single. Back-to-back incidents were happening to make me feel all the range of negative emotions that come with being single and traveling as a solo female traveler. You can read all about this profound trip here.
There are also many previous posts about my Malta trip and feelings. You can go back and read them if you like.
There’s a Full Moon tomorrow. So we’re being reminded of people from the past, experiencing vivid dreams, disturbed sleep and a mix of strange and bad emotions. It’s a time of shedding old energy and memories from the past.
Although I’ve done so much work to find my true self, I’m now at an awkward place where the city where I live doesn’t match that true self. I can still manage to find places that resonate with my personality but it’s getting more challenging each day.
This morning, I spent about an hour thinking of where to go for breakfast. In the end, I went back to a spot which feels aligned, the service and food were great. All went well but it was a struggle just to decide on an option.
You might be thinking that these are first world problems and I agree. They are not major. But there’s another side to this story.
I recently released all of the people who don’t belong in my life. And this includes a few friends who are in the city.
The pandemic was a huge breakthrough in one go. It highlighted all of the things that no longer matched my new, evolved self.
So now my only connections in the city are my Betta fish (Marco) and my inner child teddy bear (Leela) and my cactus plant.
It might seem strange and sad that my only connections are a stuffed toy, a cactus and a pet fish – but it feels right.
The reason it feels right to not have friends is because honoring myself and setting boundaries with others who are no longer aligned is more important than having friends in the city.
I’ve done so much inner work to tolerate people who don’t deserve to be a part of my life. And inner child therapy work was the most powerful catalyst for my newfound self.
Daily life in Dubai is also no aligned with my true self. I’m a hippie and a free spirit. I love a laid-back lifestyle like the one in Bali.
In Dubai, I still kind of live like a hippie. I don’t drive although I’ve been living here since April 2010 and take the metro/tram or cabs.
Visiting small, independent, homegrown concepts is my thing. I avoid mainstream or commercial/pretentious places.
The point of this blog post is that each person has their own struggles. There’s a shadow side to each story. That person might choose not to share it that frequently, or at all.
Being a certified life coach, I like to focus on the learning and the solution. So instead of complaining about my Dubai life, I explore options for where I can live for part of the year. I also focus on gratitude. I feel blessed to be able to do what I love (writing) and to be practice hobbies like cooking and going for nature walks.
Since I do everything on my own, I now feel depleted. I’m getting weekly IV drips for my health. I don’t know what will happen next but I enjoy the journey.
Maybe it’s because I have a growth mindset so I look at the situation from a growth perspective.
I love growing into the next version of myself. My ebook is also coming up soon. So make sure you stay updated here.
This was a little honest sharing from my part of the world. Let me know what you’re currently struggling with and what topics do you want me to cover next?
Here’s an iced latte from this morning’s leisurely breakfast, pre-grocery shopping trip.