Today’s post is a simple reminder to be gentle with yourself.
I know how it feels when you’re raised in a way that makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
If you were always told that you’re not good enough and anything that you do is never good enough, then I know how you feel.
Because my parents always made me feel like I’m not good enough, I try to be productive all the time. Plus, I’m a perfectionist.
A Competitive Personality
To give you an idea of what I mean, my mother would always compare me with others. My father never congratulated me on any achievement or milestone. I was always not doing good enough – no matter what I was doing.
One major downside of always feeling not good enough is that you do so much that you end up feeling depleted and drained.
I now get weekly IV drips because of this. It’s because I don’t know how to rest and to do nothing. I’m constantly in ‘doing’ mode.
I also realized that I do this in every aspect of my life. So I’m now learning to apply makeup correctly and I watch tutorials, then write lists of products. But it feels like a chore and I’m not really enjoying the process so much. It’s because I want to do things perfectly and these types of skills take time.
With cooking it’s different. I’m so proud of myself because I’ve improved my cooking skills so much in the past two years. And I truly enjoy testing new recipes and shopping for ingredients. It’s a hobby and a passion for me now.
Being Proud Of How Far I’ve Come
Another example of an area where I was really forcing things is with my hair.
In the past two and a half years, I tried multiple heat-styling tools and nothing worked. I kept experimenting with different tools to find a way to style my hair at home. In the end, I decided to get a Keratin treatment again – but this time with so much research behind it.
This morning, I got my hair smoothed with the Kerasilk treatment. I’ll be writing a post about this next Thursday. I have pictures for before, during and after the treatment. I want to write the post after I’ve washed my hair and let it dry naturally to share an honest review.
Choosing to get my hair treated is part of embracing my feminine side – my new year intention.
I’m so proud of myself for where I am, although I don’t feel this emotion 100% because of my family conditioning.
I still feel like I’m not good enough because of how I was raised and made to feel my entire life.
Change Takes Time
Do you feel like you’re not good enough no matter what you do?
If so, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself and to trust that change takes time.
Sharing a ‘before’ picture from this morning’s salon visit. Stay tuned for a complete review of the treatment next week!