My top life lesson and the one that I’m constantly being tested with is boundaries.
Because I was the scapegoat child in a narcissistic family, I got all the emotional and psychological abuse and ‘it’s all your fault’ throughout my life. I left home for good at 29 so that’s a long time.
What I realized is that setting healthy and strong boundaries is essential, especially with toxic family members. In my case, that was my mother.
Boundaries in All Areas of Life
As most narcissistic abuse survivors, I grew up to be a people-pleaser with a personality that’s enmeshed with basically everyone I meet.
I would find it difficult to tell the salon staff that I don’t want to buy this great hair product that they want to sell me.
I once bought a body scrub tube from a high-end spa while on a trip at the Maldives and didn’t get a chance to use it until it expired.
If this sounds like you, then you have issues around boundaries. I’m happy to say that you can change and say no.
Setting healthy boundaries might feel uncomfortable at first. So you want to start practicing with people who are not too close like acquaintances or colleagues.
Once you get a hang of it, you can apply it to everyone in your life. This includes toxic friends and family members.
Until this day, I still practice setting strong and firm boundaries with others.
It gets easier with practice, so don’t give up if you can’t get it right at first. Just keep doing it even when it feels uncomfortable.
With time, you’ll notice that the people who don’t respect boundaries or frown at yours will naturally fall out of your life.
It feels so good when you can attract healthy people and situations who respect you and your no’s.
How is Boundaries related to Manifesting a Partner?
What’s really interesting and something that many people might not be aware of is this:
When you have issues with boundaries in some areas of your life, you’re basically sending the Universe mixed signals.
Let’s say you want to manifest a healthy and loving relationship with a safe, secure and respectful man.
While you’re doing all the right things when it comes to manifesting love, you’re missing one major piece of the puzzle.
The missing piece is that you don’t know how to say no and to set healthy boundaries. This leads to you attracting people (friends or colleagues) who don’t respect you or treat you right.
The result? the Universe will get confused and will not deliver your soulmate vision to you.
The cool part about manifesting using the law of attraction is that you get to do the inner work and evolve as part of the process.
When you navigate manifesting a partner with the intention of aligning yourself to that dream vision and becoming your best, most authentic self, magical things happen!
You start to really enjoy the manifesting process and celebrate the milestones that are taking you to your dream life.
What you can do about this now?
The best way to work through old patterns and habits that are a result of a toxic family system or past relationship is to work with someone who’s already ahead of you.
Because I’ve suffered from the boundaries issue my entire life (I still practice setting boundaries on a daily basis), I can support you in your journey to releasing this old pattern and practicing the healthy skill of boundary setting.
Setting healthy and strong boundaries is so important for manifesting a loving relationship and sending clear signals to the Universe that say you are ready for love!
Feel free to check out my life coaching site and send me a message if you have any questions!