How Does Being Hyper-independent Show Up?
Around a decade or so ago, I was talking with a friend about the Entertainer vouchers and how they’re useless when you’re single and eating out alone. The Entertainer voucher is a buy one, get one type of voucher that can be used across restaurants, spas, hotels and other places in the city.
My friend, who’s another hyper-independent woman replied with: “It’s not an issue at all. I eat one meal at the restaurant and take the second (free) meal as takeaway to eat later.
And that’s exactly how you block manifesting a man who can take care of you.
Well, this is one simple example of how being super independent can block men from approaching you.
Why are Some Women Hyper-independent?
By doing a simple Google search for the definition of a hyper-independent woman, we get that she’s a deeply self-reliant individual who, often due to past trauma or a need for control, manages all aspects of her life alone, refusing to ask for help.
Being hyper-independent is not a compliment or a good character trait. It’s actually a survival strategy and protective mechanism that leads to emotional isolation, exhaustion and difficulty with vulnerability.
Although we’re all aware that being hyper-independent is not a strength and is very depleting, we continue to be that way, simply because we are single and we don’t have anyone to take care of us!
You can read this blog post where I share about how I’m fed up of being independent and strong. In that post, I totally embrace the shadow side of being single and give myself permission to feel all the negative emotions that come with that state of being.
What can you do to Shift this Energy?
Sadly, there’s no quick fix or magic wand to change this way of constantly being self-reliant.
I can tell you that the first step is to bring awareness to the issue. You must acknowledge that your hyper-independence is standing in the way of manifesting your person and dream life.
Once you realize that men want to feel needed and to support and take care of you, then you immediately see how being super independent is preventing you from attracting the right, masculine, provider type of man.
After bringing awareness, you can start taking advantage of small opportunities in your daily life, where you allow men to take care of you.
These can be as simple as a moment of letting a man open a door for you, help you figure out something in your day, share some useful tip or piece of advice.
These are all random moments in your day when you’re out and about. But they add up and eventually you feel your energy shift to a more soft and surrendering vibration.
Like I said, this shift doesn’t happen overnight. You have to keep practicing at every chance you get.
I personally feel like I reached the conclusion that my single life isn’t sustainable anymore.
When things like home maintenance and geopolitics become part of daily life, that’s when you truly feel like having a supportive and provider man is not just a nice enhancement to your already good life, but rather an essential part of it.
Let me know your thoughts.
Love,
Leela
