The Shadow Side of Being Single: Embrace All your Emotions

Today’s blog post is a simple sharing. Writing my thoughts and emotions is very therapeutic, and it helps others who might feel the same way see that they’re not alone.

Last week, I wrote a blog post about accepting our life situation exactly as it is and making peace with it. You can read that story here.

Today, I’m sharing the complete opposite of this emotion: feeling all your feelings, including the negative ones.

Last New Year’s Eve, I celebrated with a staycation at a nice hotel in Ras Al Khaimah. Because travel was still complicated back then, I chose to spend a week at a luxury, beachside resort and to have NYE dinner alone at the resort’s restaurant.

You can read about my RAK staycation here.

A woman dining with a group of friends approached me towards the end of my dinner. She said, ” We women are empowered, and we don’t need men in our lives.

The interesting thing is that just because I was dining alone, she assumed that I was anti-men!

Of course, that’s not why I chose to dine alone on New Year’s Eve. I dine alone because I’m single, and I like to do my own thing. Since I don’t have friends who can join my adventures and trips, I do everything alone.

Imagine if I waited all these years (I just turned 42 last July) to travel, celebrate milestones or go out and have fun?!

If I had waited for a partner or friends to join me, my life experiences would be zero. Yes, zero.

I travel alone and celebrate the start of a new year because I don’t want to miss out on life.

You might ask, then, what’s the purpose of this blog post? The story today is this: Although I’m super independent (have always been this way), I never thought I would be single (and doing everything alone) for this long!

I’m tired. Tired of doing it all alone. I’m not happy with my single status or life situation – although I learned to accept it (this is a paradox, but if you’re a single woman, you will know what I mean by this).

Today’s post is not about single-shaming (a term that I often hear and don’t agree with). The post is about honoring all your range of emotions – the good and the bad ones.

Good for you if you’re happy being single and doing everything alone. Feel the happy feelings.

If you’re like me and would rather be in a loving relationship, then feel these feelings too. It’s your shadow side. Feel it.

If you feel fed up with being single and are depleted from doing everything alone, feel this emotion in its entirety. Don’t pretend to be happy when you’re not. Dismissing your emotions will only delay manifesting your person.

I honestly never thought that I would be single all this time. But healing after emotional abuse takes time. It also varies depending on how bad the abuse was and how long you tolerated it. So if you’re in a toxic relationship of any type, please leave if you can.

What are your thoughts on this topic? It’s not a rant post but a story to share and honor the shadow side of being single.

Looking forward to hearing from you! Leave your thoughts or feelings in the comment section.

 

Shadow side

The shadow side of being single

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