I started this Heal Yourself series of posts to share my personal experience with anyone going through a similar healing journey. Doing the inner work and discovering about ourselves can be exciting, and many times challenging.
What I found is that no specific resource, tool or retreat will solve all our issues or cleanse us from our traumas and toxic childhoods. No one can heal you or make you feel well and connected again.
The road to self-discovery, exploration, evolution and growth is a long and complicated one. It’s possible to heal yourself and become well and connected. I just think that it takes time. Healing must be intentional and continuous.
Heal Yourself With Forgiveness
When I started my healing journey in 2016, I attended a few meditation sessions and met with some therapists with good intention. This was partly in Dubai. Some of it was at wellness retreats in enchanting Asian cities.
What most people kept telling me was: you must forgive. This did not sit well with me.
Essentially, the concept of forgiveness is a valid and effective step at healing any kind of abuse. What doesn’t work is when you try to get someone to forgive before they have accepted, grieved or even understood what has happened.
I personally couldn’t forgive my parents until very recently. Before I could forgive, I had to go through lots of negative emotions of sadness. This included guilt, shame, hurt, depression, loneliness, anger and grief.
Release Negative Emotions
Before I could accept what has happened, I had to release all the negative emotions. It required embracing them as they manifested into my reality. There was no order for these emotions. Some days I was angry, other days I felt sad and depressed. For many months, I was grieving.
All of this takes time. It can’t be expedited or rushed to get to the next better or ‘easier’ emotional state. What I learned throughout it all is that it’s very helpful to have a good support network. It helps when they are there for you and can relate to your story and struggles.
While I had a few good friends who supported and understood what I was going through, I was also surrounded by individuals who had no clue about trauma or childhood abuse. They kept asking me to be positive and to be grateful for what I have.
If you read my previous Wellness Wednesday post, you’ll understand that gratitude is an important step in healing. I was already grateful for everything that I had in my life. I simply needed time to grieve and embrace the anger, sadness and hurt. This was an essential process in my healing.
I’ll be dedicating an entire future post about the topic of taking the time to grieve, reflect and embrace all the negative emotions that come as a result of neglect and emotional abuse.
When you can reflect and understand that you have attracted a specific scenario into your life, you’ll realise that it can help you grow and evolve in a certain way. Accepting and letting go can then come naturally.
With NLP Life Coaching, I can use specific tools to help you focus on the learnings from any negative situation in your life. This will help you let go of all the negative emotions that developed as a result of this memory.
We are all responsible for our life situations (the good and the bad). We attract these incidents to learn, grow and evolve. Once we understand this, we begin to accept and even be grateful for what has happened to us. That’s the beauty of NLP.
I will soon launch my empowering Life Coaching services in Dubai. I will help you accept, forgive, let go and move on to build a bright and beautiful future for yourself and others.