My latest blog post on Soul Collective talks about how I’m a late-bloomer and my thoughts on dating later in life.
Since that post, I’ve really invested in learning about dating and relationships from books, podcasts and other resources.
I also had one successful dating experience. And by successful, I don’t mean that I was interested in the guy.
What I learned and what most dating coaches will tell you is that dating is a skill – you learn it.
There are rules to be followed if you want to attract a man who’s interested in a long-term relationship.
Of course, the first step is to do the inner work. Grow to the version of you who can attract an emotionally healthy and stable man.
This is where a life coach can help. When you have a coach who acts as an accountability and learning partner, you can’t make mistakes and mess things up. Because you grow to a healthier version of you that can manifest mature and stable men.
Once you’re at this stage, you can go back to dating and applying the rules. And that’s exactly what I did.
Dating Success Tips: Take a Break from Dating and Work on Loving yourself
As I said, you can work with a coach to help you get from sabotaging your dating experiences and your life to attracting emotionally mature men.
Taking a long break from dating helped me focus on truly knowing and loving myself.
And as cliche as this step sounds, it’s actually so important. Because until you can see yourself from a fresh lens, then you’ll keep making the same mistakes over and over again. It truly all starts with you.
In my last unsuccessful dating experience – a year ago – I abandoned myself to fit the image that the match wanted.
I was desperate to make things work so that I can be in a relationship. And that’s the energy and state of being that attracts toxic behavior and men who don’t really care about you.
I’ll be talking about this experience in a future Instagram post soon. So make sure that you follow my Instagram page here.
Take Baby Steps and Have Small Goals
Dating is a skill and long-term experience. If you want to grow as a person throughout the dating process, then you want to set simple goals for yourself. Otherwise, you will be disappointed and will give up too soon.
What this means is instead of setting yourself one major goal like meeting the one or manifesting my dream partner, set a smaller goal like having successful dating experiences.
I used to be in the first category for ages! I thought that since the purpose of dating was to meet my match, then this should be the goal of the whole process. And then I realized that this is the worst way to go about your dating experience.
Let me explain why. If you’re someone who had a negative childhood and as a result have a low sense of self-worth, then you’re most likely attracting toxic dating experiences, men and relationships.
This is simply because you didn’t do the inner work and spiritual growth to shift your energy and mindset.
To do this, you can work with a certified coach and someone who’s one step ahead of you.
If you’re constantly attracting the same type of men, like emotionally unavailable ones, this is a pattern that you can shift by first working on yourself.
After doing the inner work, you can go back to dating with a small goal like: “I want to have successful dating experiences.”
This gives you the space to be in the energy of having positive dating experiences and attracting emotionally mature men.
And this is a major step from where you were attracting toxic behavior and men who don’t respect you or see your worth.
I can tell you that being in the stage of just wanting to have positive experiences feels so much lighter and fun than going into it with a serious and huge goal like meeting the one.
I’m personally excited to get to the next stage and that’s applying all the rules that I learned.
Dating Success Tips Summary
There’s a science behind dating and the male psyche. Until you learn and follow this, you’ll be doing things wrong.
Because I’m a life coach who’s all about growth and learning, all of this comes naturally to me!
But if you need support in any stage of the dating process, feel free to reach out. We can see if we’re a fit for coaching!