Feeling Lonely and Disconnected? Discover how to Manage this Emotion

The conversation took place sometime in 2009, when I was taking a course in London. A lovely friend asked me: “Don’t you feel lonely?” based on whatever I shared with her at the time.

The truth is that although I don’t like being single, I rarely feel lonely or disconnected. The feelings that I get range from feeling tired and fed up of having to figure out and do everything alone to feeling exhausted and depleted from the lifestyle of being single and living alone in a busy city.

But I honestly rarely feel lonely. I almost never find myself feeling lonely or disconnected. And I wanted to share with you my reasons.

Although I’ve been single for most of my life, I learned how to enjoy my own company and how to create my own joy and happiness. It was a long journey and I’m grateful for where I am today.

These are my personal tips for managing the feeling of loneliness that most single women experience:

  1. Take this time as an opportunity to find your true self. Not the version of you who was shaped by your family and societal conditioning, but the real you. This process takes time, so be patient and enjoy the journey. More about how you can uncover your true self in my upcoming ebook which will be available on this site.
  2. Once you find your true self, then it’s time to discover what your life purpose is. And to start living in alignment with that purpose. Your purpose can be related to your career or it can be a hobby or a cause that you care about.
  3. Create daily rituals to help you stay centered and grounded. These can range from meditation, walking, painting, writing, singing or any other activities that make you feel centered. Be consistent with these rituals and commit to them.
  4. Set small and big goals for yourself to stay motivated and to always have something to look forward to. Big goals can be considering moving to another home, city or even country. Small goals can be learning a new skill or starting a new hobby.
  5. Learn something new. Curiosity is what drives my entire existence. I’m constantly learning something new and exploring this new skill. For example, I’m learning how to apply makeup the correct way, how to style my hair at home and what workouts I can commit to. I also enjoy learning about dating, relationships and how to do these two things right. It’s all about the journey and not the destination 🙂
  6. Join a social club or activity group. I used to be an active participant in a women’s Zumba group. This was a couple of years ago and then I injured my knees and I stopped dancing. I now prefer to workout at home. But you can explore new activities or hobbies and find groups in your town to meet other like-minded people.
  7. Find out what places and people resonate with your soul. This is another thing that I enjoy doing these days. Whenever I go to a new cafe or place, I notice how I feel and how the people make me feel. It’s such a powerful exercise and it helps you protect your energy and feel more centered and grounded. Of course, there are many times, when I end up going somewhere completely misaligned and I get really angry. But then I take it as an experience and I make sure to avoid that place 🙂
  8. This is a basic tip but most people actually don’t take time for it. Discover your likes and dislikes. What’s your favorite coffee? breakfast? How do you like your eggs cooked? How do you like to spend your weekends or time off? What do you plan your trips around? Do certain activities bring you joy? What makes you happy and fulfilled? What makes you angry or sad?
  9. Invest time and energy into doing the inner work to grow spiritually. This pandemic season is a beautiful opportunity for this. I’ve had so many powerful breakthroughs by taking time to sit with myself. Also, by protecting my energy and being aware of who I connect with. When you set the intention to heal and grow spiritually, the Universe supports you.
  10. Work with a certified coach if you need support and someone to hold you accountable. Another major reason for why I feel content, calm and centered is all of the deep work that I did with the support of experienced facilitators. I invested so much time, effort and money into countless wellness workshops and retreats. Feel free to connect to see if we’re a fit.

If you notice, all of the tips – except for one – don’t require other people. Most of them also don’t require resources – apart from time.

What I’m trying to say is that the reason behind feeling lonely isn’t the absence of people or friends. I truly believe that the reason behind feeling lonely is the presence of a void and an emptiness in one’s soul. I know how it feels because I experienced this emotion at some point in my life. The good news is that there’s a way out of this chronic feeling.

The only way through it is by doing the inner work to get to a place where you feel whole and complete. It takes a lot of work, persistence and commitment. But it’s worth it.

I hope that you found my tips helpful. Feel free to ask any questions or comment with your thoughts.


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